Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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