My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
