CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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