she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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