I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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