Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
