I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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