What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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