She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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