even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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