woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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