Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
