im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
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I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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