My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
