i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
