Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
