That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
