You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
