Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
