I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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