she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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