you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm too high and old for this...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
