I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That accounts for only three of the penises
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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