I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
