I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
