ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
