im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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