Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
