So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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