never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My feet surprised me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
