Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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