we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
50% drunk capacity currently
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
