finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
