What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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