just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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