At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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