My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
