I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
