Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
jump out the window naked night went bad
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
