Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
