Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
