I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
