sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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