M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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