Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
