please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
