I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
