Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
