Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
it was like eating out sand paper
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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