You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
