Fine. I'll sleep in my office
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
