i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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