I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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