if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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