I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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